I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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