I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
