why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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