margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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