At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
