Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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