what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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