i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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