operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
