Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
