If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
did i walk over a car last night?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
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Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
did you just send me my own nude
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
