oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love having hate sex.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
