i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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