Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
