So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My ass is underappreciated
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
