booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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