once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
