I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
