The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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