Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
