trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
