Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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