So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
