You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
