Me. At least after what I've been through.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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