Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
