Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
