Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
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so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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