So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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