I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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