I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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