Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
