finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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