I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
