She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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