escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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