So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
