There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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