so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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