hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
