you would pick up someone in the library
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
