Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
