I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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