Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I want is dick and wine.
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