she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
