i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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