She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
