last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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