Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
