Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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