good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
