Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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