covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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