apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
