I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
