Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
