the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
