Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
