Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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