I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
