sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
