farters have to be the big spoon...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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