I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
