I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
