I hate your face
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
